Happy Fourth of July everyone! If you're reading this, chances are you're running late to the BBQ, or you're taking a well deserved break from your family's 18th round of corn hole. Either way, I'm happy that you stopped by. Fourth of July is a holiday that allows us to indulge in all of the traditional behaviors that make us American. Grilling meat, blowing things up, wearing denim, public intoxication, and of course celebrating our inalienable rights to enjoy all the things previously mentioned above. It's traditional as it gets and that's why I always find myself having the same thoughts about our day of Indepdedence every year. Here's a little peek into my mind of this the most patriotic of days.
1. “Wait, it’s not June anymore?”
If part of getting older is being so busy that you don’t even know what day it is, than I deserve an old-person medal, because I don’t even know what month it is.
2. An all black outfit plus a classic red lip counts as American-themed right?
I know I have all year to prepare but my American apparel game is not on point. My lipstick game on the other hand is the fire emoji.
3. What exactly constitutes as “too early for a beer?”
Day drinking is a concept that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around. Luckily for me, Fourth of July is the perfect time to figure that out.
4. So....when are we gonna watching Independence Day?
Let's be honest, this 1996 blockbuster masterpiece is truly the reason for the season.
5. Jeff Goldblum is the ultimate bae.
Those glasses, that hair, caring about the environment, saving the world. What more could a girl want?
6. Remember circa 1996 Bill Pullman?
For real though, Bill what happened?
7. I will never be over Harry Connick Jr.’s death in this film
Harry Connick Jr.'s southern twang will always be missed.
8. Will Smith is a true national treasure
I want the kind of confidence that would allow me to comfortably punch a literal extra terrestrial being in the face.
9. Oh yeah this movie is like super long.
You get to the 2 hour mark of this film and it's like whoa, Bill Pullman hasn't even given that speech yet. *Opens another beer*
10. *Mouths the entirety of Bill Pullman's speech*
If this speech doesn't give you goosebumps than you're not a real American.